Following Your Heart and Judging Others: a lesson learned

February 10, 2017


A while back, my mom emailed me a link to a cool article (https://www.circeinstitute.org/2012/11/dont-follow-your-heart-anti-revolutionary-lessons-from-pride-and-prejudice) about not always relying on your heart to show you where you go and whom to trust.
In a ton of ways, I think this is incredibly true.  A few months ago I met this person whom on first sight I immediately and wrongly pre-judged.  (For the purpose of simplicity in this post, we'll call this person Martha.)  I then saw Martha two more times within the following month or two.  I didn't realize it until just recently when I started to get to know Martha better and to understand her, that I realized was so so wrong about her character and intentions.  True, I had nailed a few key points about her personality, but I had placed them in the wrong light.

Nevertheless, my point is is that I followed my heart at the wrong time.  My heart was telling me that Martha was below me and so I listened to it pretty much without a second thought.
And it's now that I'm realizing I was wrong.  It hurts, you know, to be wrong about something like this.  I, of all people, should have known Martha was better than she seemed being introverted myself.  Just because she was quiet, didn't mean she had sinful motives.

The example used in the article (link above) was about Pride and Prejudice, an excellent example indeed.  They were basically saying that Lizzy Bennet was following her heart when she thought she could trust Wickham.  And she was following her heart when she was prejudiced against Darcy.  Sounds sort-of like my situation actually, right?  Lizzy had high expectations of Wickham, but he most certainly did not turn out how she thought he would.  You might have noticed the fact that in her situation, she had ample material to realize that Wickham was bad, and yet, she disregarded it.  As with me, I had an opportunity to realize that I had pre-judged Martha, but I was too close-minded to see it.

Here's what the dictionary wants us to know about the words "prejudice" and "prejudge":
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(*If you're having trouble understanding the exact difference between "prejudging" and "prejudice", I found this page helpful.)

The world is not as black and white as us humans seem to think it is!  The answer is not always just a stark "right" or "wrong"—"yes" or "no".  There is much more to everyone than we will ever know.  There will always be something about someone you know that is new to you.  Everyone else is just as intellectual as you are.  They think just as much as you.  And they will also judge just as much as you.  

Here are two beautiful bible verses about judging:  


Romans 2:1-3
"You, therefore, have no excuse, you who pass judgment on someone else, for at whatever point you judge another, you are condemning yourself, because you who pass judgment do the same things. Now we know that God’s judgment against those who do such things is based on truth. 
So when you, a mere human being, pass judgment on them and yet do the same things, do you think you will escape God’s judgment?"

^ I love this one so much.  It's just the point I'm trying to get across.  

Matthew 7:1-5
“Do not judge, or you too will be judged. 
For in the same way you judge others, you will be judged, and with the measure you use, it will be measured to you. 
Why do you look at the speck of sawdust in your brother’s eye and pay no attention to the plank in your own eye? 
How can you say to your brother, ‘Let me take the speck out of your eye,’ when all the time there is a plank in your own eye? 
You hypocrite, first take the plank out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to remove the speck from your brother’s eye."

^ This one is really well know.  It's a great parable and so powerful.  I think we should all take it into account more.


Following your heart can be a dangerous thing.  People are always saying, "Oh, do what your heart tells you to!" or, "Above all, just follow your heart!"  But no.  They're not exactly right.  In a very basic sense, think about the difference between your heart (your head/what you want to do) and your guts (your conscience/what is right).  Like I said, there is always going to be more about someone no matter how well you know them.

We should not judge and shun others just because they are sinners.  We, too, are sinners.  Their sins might be bigger, but in the end, all of us are in the same boat.

Judging others is so wrong and so horrible just to even think about.  Someone might be, let's say, bullying you, but have you ever thought about the fact that they might only be doing it because it's something they've seen their older sibling do or because they live in a bad family situation?  Let's think outside the box, guys.
There's this other person we know who is always getting bashed by his older siblings and in return, he's always bashing and being unpleasant to others.  Everyone else, at least as far as I know, seems to think it's because of his personality and his age, but I've thought about it in another way.  Maybe I'm wrong but here's my philosophy.  Is is maybe because his older siblings shun him so?  And laugh at him and make fun of him?  As much as we can attribute it to his personality, he probably partly does it because it's what others do to him and because it's what he sees around him.  No one else seems to take into account this fact.  I think it's really unfair.  My thoughts are just that I believe he just doesn't know what he's doing, doesn't even hardly know right from wrong.  He really doesn't have a very solid role model.

And now you're asking, "So . . . how do following your heart and judging others tie into together?"  When you follow your heart, you are basically being prejudiced against the thing you are allowing your heart to lead you to.  You have hardly any facts and are just doing what pleases you.  Not judging others, I think, is sort of a form of pulling away from your heart.

Life is all about making decisions.  Until you really think about it, you won't realize how many of the things in our daily lives are decisions.  Our moods, actions, thoughts.  I think we should all make the decision to not prematurely judge people and their motives, unless they specifically tell you something themselves.  This even goes for judging yourself.  Give yourself time to process and sort out things before you come to conclusions.



Have you any experiences where you've pre-judged people or things?
What are your thoughts on following your heart?

Please let me know if this post meant anything to you and if you'd like me to do more like it.

8 comments

  1. I love this. Very well written, Sophia! <33
    AND THAT PICTURE! like, that is absolute talent right there girl! Wow. *speechless*

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    1. Thanks, Paige! So glad you liked it. <3
      Aww, thank you!! :D

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  2. Nice one, Sophie, I think you really had something on your heart and you had to get the message across to other people. And let me just say you rocked at it! :D
    I don't judge people too easily, sometimes by the way they talk and the grammar they use. (Like, lol I'm a writer.) But for a long time I had a difficulty of trusting people way to quickly, thankfully I've grown out of that. I often (or I try) give everyone a second chance from my judgment because I feel like I'm judged by other people so quickly, too, because I always make an impression (people-persons, guys, people-person. Lol.). But thank you so much! This really inspired me and I would love for you to do more posts like it.
    Following your heart is different than following what the Bible tells us, because our heart, although it's filled with love, is also full of all the sin that everybody else in the entire world has. It can often lead us astray. I always try to pray about something that I feel my mind/heart/conscious wants me to do, but I'm afraid. Sometimes I don't, but I'm still working on this. ;)
    Super great job, keep it up!

    Amelia xxx
    <3

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    1. Thanks so much!
      That makes sense. Thanks for sharing your thoughts!
      Your encouragement means the world to me. <3

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  3. This is such a gorgeous post, and so incredibly true <3 I'd love to see more like it!

    Ellie | On the Other Side of Reality

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    1. Thank you, Ellie! I will be sure to do more like it. Thanks so much for taking the time to read it!

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  4. Great post Sophie! Huh, what a beautiful hand. Looks familiar... ;D

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