shadow of light

March 17, 2017


{3.16.17}

Once in a while, it happens.  
Once in a while, it unbinds that scar deep down.  Savage pain.  
Why do I always have to remember that once upon a time?  
Just like that, once in a while, I remember what I learned by heart.

This is how it feels to be loved.

Once in a while, it wakes me up.  Reality-check.  Depression.
Check your reflection in the mirror.  Hide your emotions.  
Hide it all . . . only to have it come back out at the end.  
Hello, insecurity.
Hello, homesickness.

This is how it feels to be lonely.

Once in a while, I need to hear the wind whispering in those pines.  
Need to have tears come without shame and fear.  
Need to just understand how very alone I am.
So much pain in so little time.  
No regrets—just so, so tired of it all.  Of never feeling validated.

This is how it feels to be hopeless.

Once in a while, they tell me something—
something about how he went wrong,
how she didn't understand, 
how he didn't resist those vices.
Creeping upon me, everything they ever did wrong.  And I remember.
All I can think is "why?" but there is no answer in this ocean of worry.

This how it feels to be angry.

Because all this and more happens—once in a while.  
It hurts, but I know these are the shadows of the light.  

10 comments

  1. Holy. Freaking. Crap. This is absolutely incredible. But what's new there?

    Ellie | On the Other Side of Reality

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    1. Ellie, you are so sweet. <3 <3 I can't even.

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  2. woah. because all this and more happens-once in a while.
    yeah. man, the dark makes the Light so much brighter. and for awhile i tried to fight these things. tooth and nail. but they happen. and He uses them to His glory. which makes Him King, baby. hallelujah.
    brave words, girl. rock on. x

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    Replies
    1. Thank you, Adelaide. <3 You are so right, the dark does make the light brighter! I've never considered that before.

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  3. Wow. Goodness gracious Sophie, are these your emotions? All jumbled up and everything? #Igetyou
    I hope this isn't TOO realistic, I would hate for you to be going through all of this. *Sobs* But otherwise, this poem was heartfelt and very wonderful. I enjoyed reading it. (However, I did NOT enjoy the aching in my heart. LoL! XD)

    Amelia xxx
    <3

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    Replies
    1. Yup, all jumbled up and everything. Have a gander, folks. :D lol!
      Yeah, I definitely do tend to get into "dramtic-mode" when writing poetry, but the basic idea of the poem is real.
      So glad you liked it. That means a ton to me, girlfriend. <3

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  4. How even????? HOW DO YOU DO THAT????? Even if those are-real how do you turn your emotions (if they are) into such heartfelt words?? I can't even get my emotions together, or make up something 1/96 as good as that!!!
    I feel like I'd need to copy A.R. Key, (your bestie right?) because I don't even know what to comment.
    Shoot me an email if you ever want to talk!!
    (p.s those pictures....I think that you're just all-around awesome. xD )

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    Replies
    1. Ohmygosh, Paige, you are the absolute best! <3 That makes me feel so good. Thank you—I am ever so glad you liked reading it. <3
      Yup, miss A. R. Key is amazing. :) Her older sister and I are besties, and she's pretty rad too!! :D
      Thank you to the moon. <3
      Aww, thanks!! You rock too!

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  5. basically i died

    LIKE OMW SOPHIE - WAHT EVEN THIS POST IS SO BRILLIANT AND THE FEELINGS AND GOSH

    ...i just can't. *stumbles out of room*

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    Replies
    1. basically I died reading your comment. <3 <3
      Thank you!! I'm so glad you enjoyed it.

      Delete

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